For many, Christmas is a time of joy. For others, Christmas is a time of stress and anxiety.
Financial pressures, unrealistic expectations, family conflicts, and contributing factors like losing a loved one throughout the year all seem to come to a head at Christmas.
We’re not all perfect, but somehow we put enormous pressure on ourselves and others to try and create the perfect Christmas. Then, for whatever reason(s), the whole event falls short of expectations and becomes an unmitigated disaster.
Every family is different, and there are bound to be differences both within your own and with your extended family. From trying to please everyone with the right food combinations for the Christmas day meal to selecting an appropriate gift, it can be more than a headache for all.
We’re not psychologists, but we have come up with a few suggestions to help alleviate some stresses you may encounter on what should be a magical day. Remember, planning and communication are your friends here.
The day: So, whose turn is it this year? If you’re like a lot of families, you’ll take it turn about as to whose family you share Christmas with each year. If you want a year when it’s just you, your partner, and the kids, give everyone an early heads-up of your plans to minimise disappointment. You can always get together with extended family another day over the festive period.
The venue: Is Christmas always at your place? Maybe it’s time to tell other family members to have Christmas at theirs. If everyone has a go at hosting, Christmas Day won’t seem like a chore. Alternatively, you could try something different, like having Christmas Day at a park or the beach. That way, everyone can chip in to bring something to help celebrate the day.
The work: The lead-up to Christmas Day is often hectic, especially if you’re the one on hosting duties. There are houses to clean, lawns to be mowed, gardens to be tidied, Webers to be dusted off and de-spidered, and the food prep on, or leading up to, the main meal. Don’t be afraid to stick your hand up and say that you need a hand. Get other family members to help because you need to enjoy the day without being utterly exhausted from all the prep beforehand.
The menu: Always controversial, the Christmas Day menu is often a source of great angst. The trick here is to let everyone know in advance what you’re planning and give them a chance to provide feedback. You can also suggest that everyone bring a course or an accompaniment. Oh, and don’t forget to let people know to bring drinks.
The budget: Set this early. Have a budget in mind for the food and drinks, table decorations and all the other bits and pieces that seem to mount up on the day. Think ice, heat beads, trays for the Weber, plastic cups, etc. If you’ve got a mob coming and you’re the one providing all the food and drink, it’s not unreasonable to ask for a contribution from other family members.
Remember, an unforgettable Christmas can be done on any budget because love, warmth, happiness, and gratitude count, not the materialistic aspect.
The visitors: Again, try to find out who’s coming for Christmas. Some years there will only be a handful of you, while others will be like family reunions. If you’ve only limited dining space, you might have to canvass the neighbourhood for spare trestle tables and additional chairs and set up outdoors. Either that, or you might have to think about another venue.
The gifts: Aside from your own family, decide between other family members if you’re going to give gifts to each other. Just be aware that some may have had a tough year and finding money for additional gifts might be a struggle. This is where budget-friendly Secret Santas are often a fantastic idea, and you don’t have to bust the bank to afford them.
The conversation: Nip this one in the bud early. Let everyone know in advance to keep the conversations free of politics, sporting rivalry (think Crows/Power), or anything upsetting or controversial. This day is about catching up with what’s been happening with your families and kids and needs a light and casual tone.
The entertainment: There are bound to be those who take over the music on the day. So, the best way to solve the conflict of whether it should be something doosh-doosh or anything before 1975 is to set up a requests list before the day and have your youngest (let’s face it, they’re the only ones that know how) create a Spotify playlist or similar that can be enjoyed by all.
The kids: You know it’ll happen. Eventually, the kids are going to drive you crazy. Questions and remarks at inappropriate times, crying, fights with their cousins, and the inevitable statement of, ‘I’m bored’. Have some games on hand and set up the TV/DVD player in preparation. To save your sanity, ask a couple of older kids if they’ll take a turn keeping them entertained or supervised if there’s a pool involved.
The over-indulgers: Look out for these people. These are the ones that bring a bottle (usually something from the cheap bin at Dan Murphy’s) and drink a multitude of beers, two or three bottles of your decent wine, and your scotch afterwards.
It might pay to have a quiet word beforehand about toning it down and setting a good example for the kids. Remember, sometimes people drink too much because they have other things going on in their lives. If that seems to be the case, ask them if they’re okay before you do anything rash.
The Squabbles: Christmas Day is a family affair, after all. So, there are bound to be a couple of seemingly innocent remarks at which someone will take deep offence. It’ll simmer all afternoon until someone snaps, and it’s a full-on barney. If this is a likely scenario, no matter what preparations you make, go back to point number one, and spend the day with just your family and catch up with other family members before or after the day. Sometimes family members just don’t get on, and, while unfortunate, it just might be best to avoid putting them together on Christmas Day.
The lonely: Finally, there are those who will be alone at Christmas due to work commitments, no family or family interstate or overseas, estrangement, new Australians, or some other reason. Reach out to these people to see if they’d like some company on the day. You’ll be surprised at how grateful they’ll be.
At McGrath Real Estate Group, we can’t wait for Christmas and getting together with family and friends. That said, we’re still around (albeit with shorter hours) over the Christmas and New Year break if you’re thinking of doing anything with your property.
Phone our office on 8350 4200, or drop into 42 Brighton Road, Glenelg.